Mirror Mirror

Hi Gang!

Monday Monday Monday!!

This Monday, (today) we are discussing body image.

Yes, I know it's a dead horse ( as I get my stick out to beat it). But it's something that is still not resolved in many of our hearts. How many of you are JUST working out and eating better because you know it's good for you? *looks around* Anyone? Anyone??

WELL, I didn't think so....

The truth is, we want to feel and LOOK better. We have an image in our minds of what we should look like. Whether it was our high school selves, our jr. high selves, our colleges selves, or a "self" we have never been and want to know what we'd look like with the weight off. Let me be the first to say:

There is nothing WRONG with wanting to look 'beautiful'.

Here lies the danger: what is 'beautiful?'

What is "your" definition of beauty? What is 'your' own beauty standard? These questions are tough to answer in their most sincere light.

It's hard because we don't want to hurt feelings, or reveal the truth about ourselves.

We often think thin is beautiful. If not thin, flat tummys, solid legs, arms etc.

We think the ability to wear certain clothes is 'beautiful'.

Be honest: Would you dress a little more hooch if you had the 'body' for it?

I'm not admitting that I would or wouldn't. However, there are some things we'd love to wear and just don't because don't feel it looks right on us. It's a challenge. There are some of us who DREAD going shopping because nothing fits; oh they make it in our size, but what we see on TV/ADS/Magazines, don't shape up with what is in the mirror. Read: " I know this dress looked a WHOLE lot different on Halle Berry".

That's the issue. Comparison. The best way to discourage yourself is to compare yourself with another person. You've already started two things:

1. You've decided that you don't set the standard for you own beauty

2. You've reaffirmed that negativity and told yourself that you will NEVER set that standard.

We have to set our own standards for beauty. We have to HAVE to look in the mirror and like what we see. It's so hard. It's going to take years of reconditioning, (that's how long it took to get here). But we can start.

It does seem like the 'cute' clothes are always in the smaller sizes. It does seem like 'this style just doesn't look right on me'...but a lot of what we see is being projected not through our physical appearance but our mental blocks. (note the picture above). This is a dangerous view of ourselves. Some of us not be quite where the young lady above is, but, obesity is as dangerous as anorexia. While one doesn't have the dicipline and self esteem to stop eating or work out or the other doesn't have the will TO EAT and stop abusing their body. We shouldn't take for granted that " I'm not THAT skinny, or I'm not THAT big". We should always evaluate where WE are in our lives, and what we need to do to take care of our bodies.

You have to reaffirm yourself. You body is a wonderland (John Mayer had it right).

It can do the most amazing biological things! Here's the fact of the matter: You only get ONE body. You can't trade it in, you can poke and prod it with surgeries if you want, but remember what you have is what you get. That being said, take care of it. Love it: say " Hey_____, you are beautiful. I hold you to my standard of beauty. I am a gorgeous being and I deserve the best I can give to me"..........

WEEK CHALLENGE!!

This is for the WHOLE WEEK OF APRIL 21st- 27th!

This week, I'd like for you to do a couple things.

1. Get Naked! (OH YEAH!) Look at yourself in the mirror. Touch yourself (not like that...well, if it goes there..but I didn't suggest it). Shake, roll, bend, and stretch in the mirror. Try to see every part of you. Then talk. Tell yourself what you don't like, and why. Tell yourself what you think it should look like, and why. Then say all the great things you see and why. Then, here is the hard part, write down all your wishes and perceptions and toss them. Let them go. Do it and tell me how it went.

2. Go shopping. Okay, okay. If you aren't balleriffic, than just look. But the point is, I want you to try on a dress, pants, a shirt, something that is NOT ACCESSORY. NO SHOES, JEWELRY, nothing that is not a garment. Stand in the dressing room and see what you like. Try on something you have told yourself "I don't look good in these." If you have a hard time picking it out, ask a clerk " I usually don't wear this, but I'm trying something new. What would look best on my figure?"

At a good store, they clerk CAN help you find something. Now, she might be mad if you don't buy it, but this trip is about you, so apologize and walk out if you don't want to get it. HOWEVER, if you love the fit, and can get, treat yourself to something that you never thought you'd get.

Here are a list of great stores!

Torrid

Lane Bryant

Ashley Stewart

Nordtroms

Macy's

Gap

White House Black Market

Anne Taylor

Now, I love Target and Old Navy and Wal-Mart BUT........do you really think a 17 year old is gonna be able to help you on that level? I'm not saying they don't have staff like that, but MOSt of the floor personal in the stores aren't trained like that. Even at the Gap, try to ask for a seasoned floor rep. :) Let me know how it goes!

Happy Shopping!

B